0

In The House Of God – Episode 1

Me and my friend Austin coming back from
school after a notorious exam.
Me: guy where them put you na i nor even
see your signboard OR breaklight self.
Austine: omo na ss3 class them carry us go
oh, and na that wicked chuks be our
supervisor.
Me: chai see punishment, that means no
show for una side be that oh.
Austine: no show at all the exam worse
pass jamb self, the thing really hard, na
where you dey self.
Me: i dey multipurpose na.
Austine: see luck oh, there wey people
many, them nor go even know who dey do
expo.
Me: na so oh, even me expo wey i write for
my sleepers all of them clean, na person
book i tear commot oh.
Austine: wicked boy, but you dey mumu oh,
you nor know say the thing go clean
before?
Me: i nor reason go there at all, abeg make
we waka fast i get choir practice today.
Austine: that una choir wey una dey f—–g
f—–g each other so.
Me: thuunder fire that your mouth, which
kind f—–g f—–g be that.
Austine: hahaha even i hear say una choir
master dey f–k two of una girls.
Me: na lie joor, na rumous, all those people
wey dey carry fake fake rumous waka na
God go punish them.
We continue trekking, our school is very far
from our house, e take us 50 minutes from
our house to school, sometimes i do get
free bike base on say my mama na nurse
and they know her for that community well
well, meanwhile i be choir member for one
anglican church, and we get beautiful girls
with big hips ;D.
I got home exactly 4:00pm, our house dey opposite hospital wey my mummy they work, na primary health care government hospital, i open door enter house saw my elder brother cactus im senior me with 3 years i greet, i drop my bag and check pot omo nothing dey pot, i enter room carry 50 naira from container, i went outside to buy head of fish, i came back and use the fish to sama garri, after eating i went straight to my bed to sleep at least i have like one hour left before the choir practice start, so i decided to sleep, as i they put my head for pillow i see my brother they carry cuttlass and bag.
Me: bros you wan enter farm this evening?
Cactus: which farm, i wan go river go kill fish.
Me: them don put chemical for river?
Cactus: they there dey sleep na.
Me: chai na im you nor tell me since, only you wan just go abi?
Cactus: na just now them call me self na frank call me say them don put gamali 20 for river oh.
Oboy no more choir practice again oh, i got up quickly and prepare myself to go hunting i took one fitter, one cuttlas and big bag,.
The river is not too far, na our backyard e dey, infact na only we and our neighbour dey go the river go baf because na only we they that compound, na Jehovah Witneses them be, as we reach there omo come see people, some stand for bank of the river they watch people wey they use cuttlass smash fish head, so i leave my brother for there and head straight to down of the river, they say na the down side the fish they pass, very dark spot and also very deep, i crossed to the other side and enter inside the deep river wey reach me for belle, standing at the center of big sea, holding my cuttlass ready for ultimate battle between me and fish with the help of chemical, then i heard big smash at my back, i turn around and saw my big neighbour Felix, im senior me with 10 years or so me i be small pikin, im they put one small fish for bag.
bros felix: na you dey here?
Me: yes bros, good evening.
Felix: you nor dey fear oh see as only you just stand for this rugged area.
Me: ha nothing to fear na, so far the chemical they work nothing go happen.
So two of us stay middle of the river dey kill fish, i saw one electric fish not too big, i cut the head and use filter to put it inside my bag, i caught alot of fish before the unusual happen something i will never forget in a hurry.
I heard a big sound from our front like a splash or something, i look that area i nor see anything.
Felix: wetin be that?
Me: e be like say na big fish oh but i nor see anything.
Then i heard the sound again, this time closer omo this fish go big oh, the thing they swim come meet me self with boldness, i never still know wether na fish or not and i don dey fear,
Felix: commot for river, na big fish be that oh make i face am alone.
I ran out of the big river while felix stood at the middle holding his matchet like matchete with confidence like rambo.
Then i saw it from where i stand, a very mighty fish like arrow head, swimming close to felix, i started shouted shouting.
Me: bros bros commot for the river, that fish too big oh e get arrow head oh, you nor go fit kill am.
Felix: keep quiet make you nor scare am that chemical don weak am so e no go dey strong no worry my guy.
Omo make una come see action film, as the fish swim closer to felix, felix rose his matchet and hit the fish on the head, then there was silent, no blood, nothing at all, after a minute something took felix down the river, then the thing started dragging felix to the bottom of the river, i ran after it shouting, make una help oh, make una help oh something don carry felix oh.
The thing they drag felix to a very deep place and na only God go help am if them enter the deepest,.
Then from nowhere, i saw my brother and other people running after me from my back, e be like say them hear my voice.
Cactus: oz wetin they happen,why you they shout and run,.
me still running after the fish breathing heavily, point at felix as the fish continue dragging him, my brother saw it see the way wey im take run pass me like usain bolt them say him dey win 100 metre race for school i nor believe but now i believe (we nor go the same school)
Felix was struggling trying to free himself from the grip and the fish was slowing down still holding hom tight, my bros took bamboo wood from the ground and ran to the front, before the deepest part there is one big tree that fell on the river creating a crosspart, my brother quickly climb the tree, i reach there omo i nor fit climb this tree oh e dey too tiny, even the other guys no climb am, maybe na boyscout wey my brother join give am mind like that my brother set the bamboo tree downward as the fish approach, e be like say the fish don tire because e don they slow down, so as the fish approach the tree, felix rose his hands up and grip the bamboo stick, the fish still try to pull felix from the bamboo, therefore making my brother to fall inside the river, as my brother fell ontop the river, i quickly look for another bamboo and throw it to them, e be like the fish don go, because i nor see am again, my brother drag felix from the river as he grip the bamboo, while i pull them from the deep blue sea with felix bleeding badly.
We got home rush felix to my mum hospital, i came back and look at the time, 6:30pm,
TIME STILL DEY TO GO CHOIR PRACTICE ABI?

To be continued

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Friday, 22 December 2017

In The House Of God – Episode 1

In The House Of God – Episode 1

Me and my friend Austin coming back from
school after a notorious exam.
Me: guy where them put you na i nor even
see your signboard OR breaklight self.
Austine: omo na ss3 class them carry us go
oh, and na that wicked chuks be our
supervisor.
Me: chai see punishment, that means no
show for una side be that oh.
Austine: no show at all the exam worse
pass jamb self, the thing really hard, na
where you dey self.
Me: i dey multipurpose na.
Austine: see luck oh, there wey people
many, them nor go even know who dey do
expo.
Me: na so oh, even me expo wey i write for
my sleepers all of them clean, na person
book i tear commot oh.
Austine: wicked boy, but you dey mumu oh,
you nor know say the thing go clean
before?
Me: i nor reason go there at all, abeg make
we waka fast i get choir practice today.
Austine: that una choir wey una dey f—–g
f—–g each other so.
Me: thuunder fire that your mouth, which
kind f—–g f—–g be that.
Austine: hahaha even i hear say una choir
master dey f–k two of una girls.
Me: na lie joor, na rumous, all those people
wey dey carry fake fake rumous waka na
God go punish them.
We continue trekking, our school is very far
from our house, e take us 50 minutes from
our house to school, sometimes i do get
free bike base on say my mama na nurse
and they know her for that community well
well, meanwhile i be choir member for one
anglican church, and we get beautiful girls
with big hips ;D.
I got home exactly 4:00pm, our house dey opposite hospital wey my mummy they work, na primary health care government hospital, i open door enter house saw my elder brother cactus im senior me with 3 years i greet, i drop my bag and check pot omo nothing dey pot, i enter room carry 50 naira from container, i went outside to buy head of fish, i came back and use the fish to sama garri, after eating i went straight to my bed to sleep at least i have like one hour left before the choir practice start, so i decided to sleep, as i they put my head for pillow i see my brother they carry cuttlass and bag.
Me: bros you wan enter farm this evening?
Cactus: which farm, i wan go river go kill fish.
Me: them don put chemical for river?
Cactus: they there dey sleep na.
Me: chai na im you nor tell me since, only you wan just go abi?
Cactus: na just now them call me self na frank call me say them don put gamali 20 for river oh.
Oboy no more choir practice again oh, i got up quickly and prepare myself to go hunting i took one fitter, one cuttlas and big bag,.
The river is not too far, na our backyard e dey, infact na only we and our neighbour dey go the river go baf because na only we they that compound, na Jehovah Witneses them be, as we reach there omo come see people, some stand for bank of the river they watch people wey they use cuttlass smash fish head, so i leave my brother for there and head straight to down of the river, they say na the down side the fish they pass, very dark spot and also very deep, i crossed to the other side and enter inside the deep river wey reach me for belle, standing at the center of big sea, holding my cuttlass ready for ultimate battle between me and fish with the help of chemical, then i heard big smash at my back, i turn around and saw my big neighbour Felix, im senior me with 10 years or so me i be small pikin, im they put one small fish for bag.
bros felix: na you dey here?
Me: yes bros, good evening.
Felix: you nor dey fear oh see as only you just stand for this rugged area.
Me: ha nothing to fear na, so far the chemical they work nothing go happen.
So two of us stay middle of the river dey kill fish, i saw one electric fish not too big, i cut the head and use filter to put it inside my bag, i caught alot of fish before the unusual happen something i will never forget in a hurry.
I heard a big sound from our front like a splash or something, i look that area i nor see anything.
Felix: wetin be that?
Me: e be like say na big fish oh but i nor see anything.
Then i heard the sound again, this time closer omo this fish go big oh, the thing they swim come meet me self with boldness, i never still know wether na fish or not and i don dey fear,
Felix: commot for river, na big fish be that oh make i face am alone.
I ran out of the big river while felix stood at the middle holding his matchet like matchete with confidence like rambo.
Then i saw it from where i stand, a very mighty fish like arrow head, swimming close to felix, i started shouted shouting.
Me: bros bros commot for the river, that fish too big oh e get arrow head oh, you nor go fit kill am.
Felix: keep quiet make you nor scare am that chemical don weak am so e no go dey strong no worry my guy.
Omo make una come see action film, as the fish swim closer to felix, felix rose his matchet and hit the fish on the head, then there was silent, no blood, nothing at all, after a minute something took felix down the river, then the thing started dragging felix to the bottom of the river, i ran after it shouting, make una help oh, make una help oh something don carry felix oh.
The thing they drag felix to a very deep place and na only God go help am if them enter the deepest,.
Then from nowhere, i saw my brother and other people running after me from my back, e be like say them hear my voice.
Cactus: oz wetin they happen,why you they shout and run,.
me still running after the fish breathing heavily, point at felix as the fish continue dragging him, my brother saw it see the way wey im take run pass me like usain bolt them say him dey win 100 metre race for school i nor believe but now i believe (we nor go the same school)
Felix was struggling trying to free himself from the grip and the fish was slowing down still holding hom tight, my bros took bamboo wood from the ground and ran to the front, before the deepest part there is one big tree that fell on the river creating a crosspart, my brother quickly climb the tree, i reach there omo i nor fit climb this tree oh e dey too tiny, even the other guys no climb am, maybe na boyscout wey my brother join give am mind like that my brother set the bamboo tree downward as the fish approach, e be like say the fish don tire because e don they slow down, so as the fish approach the tree, felix rose his hands up and grip the bamboo stick, the fish still try to pull felix from the bamboo, therefore making my brother to fall inside the river, as my brother fell ontop the river, i quickly look for another bamboo and throw it to them, e be like the fish don go, because i nor see am again, my brother drag felix from the river as he grip the bamboo, while i pull them from the deep blue sea with felix bleeding badly.
We got home rush felix to my mum hospital, i came back and look at the time, 6:30pm,
TIME STILL DEY TO GO CHOIR PRACTICE ABI?

To be continued

In The House Of God – Episode 1

Me and my friend Austin coming back from
school after a notorious exam.
Me: guy where them put you na i nor even
see your signboard OR breaklight self.
Austine: omo na ss3 class them carry us go
oh, and na that wicked chuks be our
supervisor.
Me: chai see punishment, that means no
show for una side be that oh.
Austine: no show at all the exam worse
pass jamb self, the thing really hard, na
where you dey self.
Me: i dey multipurpose na.
Austine: see luck oh, there wey people
many, them nor go even know who dey do
expo.
Me: na so oh, even me expo wey i write for
my sleepers all of them clean, na person
book i tear commot oh.
Austine: wicked boy, but you dey mumu oh,
you nor know say the thing go clean
before?
Me: i nor reason go there at all, abeg make
we waka fast i get choir practice today.
Austine: that una choir wey una dey f—–g
f—–g each other so.
Me: thuunder fire that your mouth, which
kind f—–g f—–g be that.
Austine: hahaha even i hear say una choir
master dey f–k two of una girls.
Me: na lie joor, na rumous, all those people
wey dey carry fake fake rumous waka na
God go punish them.
We continue trekking, our school is very far
from our house, e take us 50 minutes from
our house to school, sometimes i do get
free bike base on say my mama na nurse
and they know her for that community well
well, meanwhile i be choir member for one
anglican church, and we get beautiful girls
with big hips ;D.
I got home exactly 4:00pm, our house dey opposite hospital wey my mummy they work, na primary health care government hospital, i open door enter house saw my elder brother cactus im senior me with 3 years i greet, i drop my bag and check pot omo nothing dey pot, i enter room carry 50 naira from container, i went outside to buy head of fish, i came back and use the fish to sama garri, after eating i went straight to my bed to sleep at least i have like one hour left before the choir practice start, so i decided to sleep, as i they put my head for pillow i see my brother they carry cuttlass and bag.
Me: bros you wan enter farm this evening?
Cactus: which farm, i wan go river go kill fish.
Me: them don put chemical for river?
Cactus: they there dey sleep na.
Me: chai na im you nor tell me since, only you wan just go abi?
Cactus: na just now them call me self na frank call me say them don put gamali 20 for river oh.
Oboy no more choir practice again oh, i got up quickly and prepare myself to go hunting i took one fitter, one cuttlas and big bag,.
The river is not too far, na our backyard e dey, infact na only we and our neighbour dey go the river go baf because na only we they that compound, na Jehovah Witneses them be, as we reach there omo come see people, some stand for bank of the river they watch people wey they use cuttlass smash fish head, so i leave my brother for there and head straight to down of the river, they say na the down side the fish they pass, very dark spot and also very deep, i crossed to the other side and enter inside the deep river wey reach me for belle, standing at the center of big sea, holding my cuttlass ready for ultimate battle between me and fish with the help of chemical, then i heard big smash at my back, i turn around and saw my big neighbour Felix, im senior me with 10 years or so me i be small pikin, im they put one small fish for bag.
bros felix: na you dey here?
Me: yes bros, good evening.
Felix: you nor dey fear oh see as only you just stand for this rugged area.
Me: ha nothing to fear na, so far the chemical they work nothing go happen.
So two of us stay middle of the river dey kill fish, i saw one electric fish not too big, i cut the head and use filter to put it inside my bag, i caught alot of fish before the unusual happen something i will never forget in a hurry.
I heard a big sound from our front like a splash or something, i look that area i nor see anything.
Felix: wetin be that?
Me: e be like say na big fish oh but i nor see anything.
Then i heard the sound again, this time closer omo this fish go big oh, the thing they swim come meet me self with boldness, i never still know wether na fish or not and i don dey fear,
Felix: commot for river, na big fish be that oh make i face am alone.
I ran out of the big river while felix stood at the middle holding his matchet like matchete with confidence like rambo.
Then i saw it from where i stand, a very mighty fish like arrow head, swimming close to felix, i started shouted shouting.
Me: bros bros commot for the river, that fish too big oh e get arrow head oh, you nor go fit kill am.
Felix: keep quiet make you nor scare am that chemical don weak am so e no go dey strong no worry my guy.
Omo make una come see action film, as the fish swim closer to felix, felix rose his matchet and hit the fish on the head, then there was silent, no blood, nothing at all, after a minute something took felix down the river, then the thing started dragging felix to the bottom of the river, i ran after it shouting, make una help oh, make una help oh something don carry felix oh.
The thing they drag felix to a very deep place and na only God go help am if them enter the deepest,.
Then from nowhere, i saw my brother and other people running after me from my back, e be like say them hear my voice.
Cactus: oz wetin they happen,why you they shout and run,.
me still running after the fish breathing heavily, point at felix as the fish continue dragging him, my brother saw it see the way wey im take run pass me like usain bolt them say him dey win 100 metre race for school i nor believe but now i believe (we nor go the same school)
Felix was struggling trying to free himself from the grip and the fish was slowing down still holding hom tight, my bros took bamboo wood from the ground and ran to the front, before the deepest part there is one big tree that fell on the river creating a crosspart, my brother quickly climb the tree, i reach there omo i nor fit climb this tree oh e dey too tiny, even the other guys no climb am, maybe na boyscout wey my brother join give am mind like that my brother set the bamboo tree downward as the fish approach, e be like say the fish don tire because e don they slow down, so as the fish approach the tree, felix rose his hands up and grip the bamboo stick, the fish still try to pull felix from the bamboo, therefore making my brother to fall inside the river, as my brother fell ontop the river, i quickly look for another bamboo and throw it to them, e be like the fish don go, because i nor see am again, my brother drag felix from the river as he grip the bamboo, while i pull them from the deep blue sea with felix bleeding badly.
We got home rush felix to my mum hospital, i came back and look at the time, 6:30pm,
TIME STILL DEY TO GO CHOIR PRACTICE ABI?

To be continued

In The House Of God – Episode 1

Me and my friend Austin coming back from
school after a notorious exam.
Me: guy where them put you na i nor even
see your signboard OR breaklight self.
Austine: omo na ss3 class them carry us go
oh, and na that wicked chuks be our
supervisor.
Me: chai see punishment, that means no
show for una side be that oh.
Austine: no show at all the exam worse
pass jamb self, the thing really hard, na
where you dey self.
Me: i dey multipurpose na.
Austine: see luck oh, there wey people
many, them nor go even know who dey do
expo.
Me: na so oh, even me expo wey i write for
my sleepers all of them clean, na person
book i tear commot oh.
Austine: wicked boy, but you dey mumu oh,
you nor know say the thing go clean
before?
Me: i nor reason go there at all, abeg make
we waka fast i get choir practice today.
Austine: that una choir wey una dey f—–g
f—–g each other so.
Me: thuunder fire that your mouth, which
kind f—–g f—–g be that.
Austine: hahaha even i hear say una choir
master dey f–k two of una girls.
Me: na lie joor, na rumous, all those people
wey dey carry fake fake rumous waka na
God go punish them.
We continue trekking, our school is very far
from our house, e take us 50 minutes from
our house to school, sometimes i do get
free bike base on say my mama na nurse
and they know her for that community well
well, meanwhile i be choir member for one
anglican church, and we get beautiful girls
with big hips ;D.
I got home exactly 4:00pm, our house dey opposite hospital wey my mummy they work, na primary health care government hospital, i open door enter house saw my elder brother cactus im senior me with 3 years i greet, i drop my bag and check pot omo nothing dey pot, i enter room carry 50 naira from container, i went outside to buy head of fish, i came back and use the fish to sama garri, after eating i went straight to my bed to sleep at least i have like one hour left before the choir practice start, so i decided to sleep, as i they put my head for pillow i see my brother they carry cuttlass and bag.
Me: bros you wan enter farm this evening?
Cactus: which farm, i wan go river go kill fish.
Me: them don put chemical for river?
Cactus: they there dey sleep na.
Me: chai na im you nor tell me since, only you wan just go abi?
Cactus: na just now them call me self na frank call me say them don put gamali 20 for river oh.
Oboy no more choir practice again oh, i got up quickly and prepare myself to go hunting i took one fitter, one cuttlas and big bag,.
The river is not too far, na our backyard e dey, infact na only we and our neighbour dey go the river go baf because na only we they that compound, na Jehovah Witneses them be, as we reach there omo come see people, some stand for bank of the river they watch people wey they use cuttlass smash fish head, so i leave my brother for there and head straight to down of the river, they say na the down side the fish they pass, very dark spot and also very deep, i crossed to the other side and enter inside the deep river wey reach me for belle, standing at the center of big sea, holding my cuttlass ready for ultimate battle between me and fish with the help of chemical, then i heard big smash at my back, i turn around and saw my big neighbour Felix, im senior me with 10 years or so me i be small pikin, im they put one small fish for bag.
bros felix: na you dey here?
Me: yes bros, good evening.
Felix: you nor dey fear oh see as only you just stand for this rugged area.
Me: ha nothing to fear na, so far the chemical they work nothing go happen.
So two of us stay middle of the river dey kill fish, i saw one electric fish not too big, i cut the head and use filter to put it inside my bag, i caught alot of fish before the unusual happen something i will never forget in a hurry.
I heard a big sound from our front like a splash or something, i look that area i nor see anything.
Felix: wetin be that?
Me: e be like say na big fish oh but i nor see anything.
Then i heard the sound again, this time closer omo this fish go big oh, the thing they swim come meet me self with boldness, i never still know wether na fish or not and i don dey fear,
Felix: commot for river, na big fish be that oh make i face am alone.
I ran out of the big river while felix stood at the middle holding his matchet like matchete with confidence like rambo.
Then i saw it from where i stand, a very mighty fish like arrow head, swimming close to felix, i started shouted shouting.
Me: bros bros commot for the river, that fish too big oh e get arrow head oh, you nor go fit kill am.
Felix: keep quiet make you nor scare am that chemical don weak am so e no go dey strong no worry my guy.
Omo make una come see action film, as the fish swim closer to felix, felix rose his matchet and hit the fish on the head, then there was silent, no blood, nothing at all, after a minute something took felix down the river, then the thing started dragging felix to the bottom of the river, i ran after it shouting, make una help oh, make una help oh something don carry felix oh.
The thing they drag felix to a very deep place and na only God go help am if them enter the deepest,.
Then from nowhere, i saw my brother and other people running after me from my back, e be like say them hear my voice.
Cactus: oz wetin they happen,why you they shout and run,.
me still running after the fish breathing heavily, point at felix as the fish continue dragging him, my brother saw it see the way wey im take run pass me like usain bolt them say him dey win 100 metre race for school i nor believe but now i believe (we nor go the same school)
Felix was struggling trying to free himself from the grip and the fish was slowing down still holding hom tight, my bros took bamboo wood from the ground and ran to the front, before the deepest part there is one big tree that fell on the river creating a crosspart, my brother quickly climb the tree, i reach there omo i nor fit climb this tree oh e dey too tiny, even the other guys no climb am, maybe na boyscout wey my brother join give am mind like that my brother set the bamboo tree downward as the fish approach, e be like say the fish don tire because e don they slow down, so as the fish approach the tree, felix rose his hands up and grip the bamboo stick, the fish still try to pull felix from the bamboo, therefore making my brother to fall inside the river, as my brother fell ontop the river, i quickly look for another bamboo and throw it to them, e be like the fish don go, because i nor see am again, my brother drag felix from the river as he grip the bamboo, while i pull them from the deep blue sea with felix bleeding badly.
We got home rush felix to my mum hospital, i came back and look at the time, 6:30pm,
TIME STILL DEY TO GO CHOIR PRACTICE ABI?

To be continued

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